Dennis St John Crosby, serial entrepreneur and marriage coach, has coached hundreds of men navigating marriage crises. Many of the men he works with through Authentic Man assume the only path forward is separation. “Just because something is broken in your marriage doesn’t mean the marriage itself is beyond saving,” says Crosby, whose message is grounded in personal accountability and practical steps. Even relationships that feel beyond repair often have the potential for renewal if men are willing to shift how they show up. His coaching method emphasizes responsibility, self-reflection, and a focus on strengthening the relationship itself rather than trying to change a partner.
The Power of Responsibility
At the core of Crosby’s approach is the idea that men must first take ownership of their role in the current state of their relationship. “By accepting that you created this current relationship dynamic, you empower yourself,” he explains. For Crosby, responsibility is not about fault. It is about recognizing agency. He warns against the trap of victimhood, where one views the partner as the sole cause of problems. “If you take the stance of, ‘she did this to me,’ that’s victimhood. And victimhood by definition means I have no power. There’s nothing I can do about this.” The moment a man acknowledges that his behavior, choices, and patterns contributed to the breakdown, Crosby says, is the moment he begins to regain control. This perspective aligns with his broader mission at Authentic Man, where he helps men design meaningful visions for their lives. It is about moving from passivity to action, reclaiming the ability to shape not only the marriage but also one’s own growth.
Cleaning Up Your Side
The second principle Crosby outlines is deceptively straightforward: focus on your side of the relationship. “You can’t control what she does. You can only fix your side,” he says. That means confronting personal baggage, unhelpful communication patterns, emotional triggers, and behaviors that erode trust.
Crosby has seen the impact of this shift in some of the most difficult cases, even when divorce papers had already been filed. “When you start fixing your side, she will start reacting to you differently because you’re now a different person,” he observes. The transformation is not about perfection but about progress. As men begin to regulate their emotions, improve communication, and show consistent care, the dynamic often changes dramatically. He points out that many of the issues men blame on their wives are often responses to their own unresolved behaviors. “You’d be surprised just by cleaning up your side how much of a difference that alone can make,” he adds.
Work on the Marriage, Not the Person
The third pillar of Crosby’s framework is one that challenges a common mistake: trying to fix the partner. Instead, he encourages men to focus on improving the marriage itself. “We want to work on the relationship, the marriage, not on our partner,” he explains. This distinction is subtle yet powerful. For example, suggesting counseling because one wants to build a healthier marriage communicates openness and shared purpose. Telling a partner to seek counseling because of how they behave, however, conveys judgment and blame. The former fosters collaboration; the latter builds resistance. “When you work on the marriage, it creates receptivity,” Crosby says. “Your partner feels less judged, less criticized, and that allows them to drop their defenses and actually lean in.”
Beyond Repair or Ready to Renew?
Crosby is clear that not every relationship can or should be saved. Yet his experience shows that many can be renewed when men are willing to take these three steps: responsibility, self-improvement, and shared focus on the marriage. “If you just do those three things, you will likely be able to turn around your situation,” he advises. As the founder of Authentic Man, Crosby has built a career helping men bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be. His coaching is rooted in values of growth, love, and accountability. These principles have been essential for both personal fulfillment and healthy relationships for his clients.
For men questioning whether their marriage is truly broken or simply fading, Crosby offers a hopeful perspective: renewal begins not with trying to change a partner, but with changing oneself.
Readers can learn more about Dennis St John Crosby’s work on his website or on social media, where he shares regular insights on Facebook, Instagram and Linkedin.
